Look, I am really happy for you- really, I am. But it just doesn't mean to me what it means to you. Before, it would have. I would have been genuinely excited and ignorantly happy in that hopeless romantic kind-of-way; but that isn't who I am anymore. I've grown cynical, untrusting. So, I am really happy for your happy moment; and I think that I can even be genuinely, hopelessly-romantic-happy for YOU; but I understand that- for me- that kind of giddiness is gone.
And even to the point of hearing your happy news, I have to remind myself to be happy for you; instead of my natural response of "please, dear god, think through what you are doing."
So, just understand, I am giving you all I can. Asking for anymore would just be plain impolite. It isn't nice to rub someone else's nose in happy.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
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