Those Snarky Sweets are aptly named.
I
 decided to move forward with another batch of applesauce, using only 
the Snarky Sweets so that I could ascertain their cook-down 
characteristics. I feel like if you know how an apple is going to break 
down when the heat is applied, you'll know best how to cook with it. 
And extra applesauce isn't going to go to waste around here...
I
 peeled and chopped roughly half my stash, which ended up yielding about
 8 cups of apple flesh. Because these apples are already naturally 
sweet, I decided to forgo the sugar. I figured if the sauce needed some 
sweetening, I could handle that on an as-needed basis when the time 
came. Apples and water (2 cups) went into a covered stock pot on medium 
heat. 
And, as I've done with previous batches of applesauce, I 
periodically stirred the pot. But on about my third visit to the pot 
(giggle), I noticed that these apples were acting quite differently than
 I was used to - even though the water was boiling and the apples were 
heated through, they weren't breaking down. The best I could say is that
 some of the pieces seemed to be breaking apart into bits, but not 
really turning into mush. Stirring the apples still required a hefty 
amount of force as they stubbornly held their constitution together. 
I assumed they needed more time.
The pot went dry and the apples started sticking to the bottom. 
Feeling
 that I could learn a thing or two about how "to stick to my guns" from 
these apples, I added just a little water to the pot so that I could 
easily stir the mixture again - mostly big pieces and some smaller 
pieces of Snarky Sweets covered in a light watery glaze. Oh boy. 
So, no applesauce from these guys.
A Facebook connection asked if I had considered using the KitchenAid;
 and the answer to that is no. I didn't want to make it more of a 
production than it already was - and these apples...I'm telling you: 
they're not budging. 
I updated my status:
Those Snarky Sweet apples are stubborn.
 They refuse to be made into sauce.
 Hurumph.
And my dear friend responded: 
Lol, they sound a little like you.
Hmmm....
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