change

Change- (as verb)

1. to make or become different
2. to give up in return for something else
3. to leave or discard for another

Synonyms: acclimatize, adapt, alchemize, alter, alteration, alternate, amend, break, cash, castrate, commute, conversion, convert, correction, deviate, deviation, difference, diversify, diversity, evolve, exchange, fluctuate, graduate, inflect, innovation, metamorphose, metamorphosis, metastasize, modify, modulate, move, mutate, orient, orientate, oscillate, permutate, rearrange, reform, regulate, remove, replace, revamp, reversal, reverse, revise, revision, shift, specie, substitute, swap, switch, tergiversate, transfer, transfigure, transform, transition, transmogrify, transmute, transplant, transpose, transubstantiate, turn, vacillate, variation, variegate, vary, veer

-info from http://thesaurus.reference.com

I am only 27; and already I can recognize the traits of a persnickety, crotchety adult. I cling to routine, to the known like it's my lifeline. Confidence is found in predictable moments. And these moments are rolling on; and nothing new is being done. AND I AM ONLY 27!

Change is dynamic.
It involves work.
Would I really chose to to do more than what is already expected of me (and that which I expect from myself)?

I love the list of synonyms above because each word is a different shade of the word change. And each word carries with it it's own connotation; it's own consequence.

Change sometimes means making a mistake.
And the older I get the harder it is for me to willingly put myself in that position.

And so, here I am with crazy, conflicting ideas: about the person I am, what I struggle with, and who I want to be.

I embrace the idea of being dynamic vs. static- now I just need to embrace the action behind that hope.