I don’t like commitment.
You know that.
I know that.
And what I have committed to – though I try to do my best – I am not perfect. I fail. Daily.
It seems to me much simpler to just not commit. If there are no expectations, how then can I fail?
And even though I’d love to meander through life, bohemian and careless, I know that’s not realistic.
I knew that being a mother would tie me to responsibilities in ways I couldn’t yet process during my pregnancy, responsibilities that I breathe in and out now every day, ones that make my heart ache.
I know that growing up means taking a position of giving back to the family, the community that supported all of those awkward phases as I matured.
I’m convinced that taking the time to learn means putting myself in a position to teach, to mentor; that writing means I’ll be held accountable for the words that hold expression, meaning and thought conveyed to the hearts of others.
Even in the simplest, most basic ways, commitment binds itself to me – and I take it seriously, but I need your help to remain steadfast.
I flit. Like a butterfly. Riding the passion of my emotions like a breeze from one flower to another, one experience to another – lightly resting my feet, never planting roots.
I think of rock solid, unshakeable…not me.
Help me be steadfast in my purpose, those commitments that are marked as a part of my journey of impact for light and love.