I keep my heart in a jar.

Want to see it?

This short story is inspired by the super-cool Star Jar collage art design created by Sou MacMillan, who has designed covers for Doublebunny Press books and is the artist behind the Rabbit Heart Poetry Film Festival.

Star Jar is part of the logo and ticket design for the 2018 Rabbit Heart Poetry Film Festival.

You can buy it here.

This is not a sponsored post.

Sou is a connection of mine. I am always inspired by her ongoing creativity and her passion to produce beauty.

Star Jar has captivated my imagination. And although I know there are so many things I could say about it, this little story is what I want to say…for now.

Is it wrong to keep my heart in a jar?

Um…I don’t know.

It’s a glass jar, so I can see through it to make sure it’s okay.

I keep the glass clean.

Well, mostly. Sometimes, I get behind in my chores, but that’s life, isn’t it?

Look for yourself. It’s very clean right now.

See how red my heart is?
I think that’s a good sign.
Very red.

The color red has many meanings.

Did you know that?

It is the color of energy.
Energy to live; to survive; to thrive.

See?
My heart is very red.

No.

It hasn’t always been very red.

In the past, it has been just red…which is still pretty good.
But I’ve let it get gray before. That wasn’t so good.

Gray is an unemotional color. Other words that might help you imagine what it was like then, are detached, indecisive… and sad.

See?

My heart – right now – is very red.

VERY. RED.

Do you know what red means?

It means strong and powerful: a pioneering spirit and leadership qualities. It means good luck and fortune. It is confidence and courage. It is the color of blood and fire. Associated with meanings of love, passion, desire, heat, longing, lust, sexuality, sensitivity, romance, joy, vigor, willpower, action, vibrance, radiance, and determination.

It is intense, this very red heart of mine.

See?
Isn’t it beautiful?

I feed it with the light from stars. Stars that have words. Words that inspire life.

It is very good food.

I haven’t always fed it this kind of food. Before, I fed it a different kind of food; before, when my heart was gray.

But when I feed it light and inspiration, it glows red.
With heat and happiness.

I like it this way. I like to look at it.
I like to share it so others can look at it too.

Is it wrong to keep my heart in a jar?

I don’t know.

What I do know is when I didn’t, when I let others hold my heart and feed it, well…it changed colors. Some of the gray times are because of others. With my heart in their hands, they made bad decisions. Fed it bad food. And I let them. Because I like to share.

Sharing your heart makes other people happy, right?
I like to make other people happy.

But having a gray heart is hard. It hurts.

I had to take my heart back from them.
I had to give it good food. I had to wait for it to change colors.

And when it was pretty again, I wanted to share again.

After so many times of letting other people hold it, I learned that maybe, keeping my heart in a jar would be a good idea.

I can still share it, but nobody else can hold it. Or feed it.
I can shower it in the light of stars and help keep it safe.

Oh.
No.

I know it isn’t 100% safe.
Somebody could take my jar and smash it on the ground.
Stomp on my heart. Squish it under their boot.

There’s a sign.
It says: “Look. But don’t touch!”

Of course, I touch it.
When I feed it, I take it out and hug it a bit.

I still let others touch it too…but only for a minute.
They have to be really special people. Really, extra-very special.

Does my heart hurt from not being held?

I don’t know.
Maybe.
Probably…

But look how very red it is right now…

If letting someone else hold my heart can change it from red to gray, is it worth it?

I don’t know.
I don’t think so.

My heart is very red.
And I like it that way…

You like it that way too.
I can tell.

So, tell me…
Can I trust you to hold it – and keep it very red?

Or is it better to just let you look at it in the jar?