Not yet.

Ultimately, that’s what this fire whispered to me.

Not yet.

By, god. When?! I’m not trying to be unpatient.
Darn it, impatient…

Not yet…

Ack!


If you haven’t figured this out already, I’m a bit of a mixed bag.

(Yes, you can laugh. I won’t take offense.)

Realist. Romantic. Cynic.
Full of star-stuff and superstitions.

Walking a path of light+love, as much as I am able. As much as possible. As much as I can listen to the wisdom and discernment that grows within me, and that I can harness the courage to act on.

That’s why a disco ball is a perfect icon for me…

A roughly spherical object that reflects light directed at it in many directions, producing a complex display. Its surface consists of hundreds or thousands of facets, nearly all of approximately the same shape and size, and each having a mirrored surface.
Wikipedia

…it’s all about the facets.

(Its association with a night full of dancing is also welcome.)


I would not say that waiting patiently is among my strong attributes.

(Yes, for those of you who know me well, you’re welcome to laugh. Go ahead. I’ll wait…)

So, as this fire whispered to me its secret, I sighed.

I would have preferred a “Dive in!” or a “What are you waiting for?!”

No. None of that.

Only – NOT YET.

I am favored with many opportunities to sit in front of a fire.

At least, I think it’s favor. A fire is a beautiful thing. It’s at once, young and old; hot and cold; light and dark. It is always wise. And it always has a lesson to offer. I think everyone should have periodic fire time.

Hearing the fire’s secrets….well, I don’t think everyone who DOES have fire time considers what the fire has to say, but they should.

This fire carried within it the most green I had ever seen.

Technically, a green flame means there’s a chemical reaction happening within the fire that includes barium.

But my mind kept focusing on some of the meanings associated with the color green…renewal and growth.

Silent, I stared the fire down.
You could say I was in a bit of a mood.

Recent questions asked of those who care for my heart and hope the best for my growth were repeated over and over again.

And I watched one of the fire’s flames swirl around, over and over again, a knot in the wood.

I hoped desperately that I had not answered too quickly; that my response was truth, and not just what I believed to be true, because I was stuck hoping for the best.

I know all too well the hurt of false hope; and my lesson has been to decipher what is true based on reality, not hope.

No more being stuck. The focus is on growth. Renewal. Reclamation.

This is a perfect moment for something to happen.

Not yet.

But, I could…

Not yet.

But I really, really want…

Not yet…

And the moment passed.

I was concrete. Resolute.
Trusting that the fire’s secret, its wisdom, what it was forcing me to think through, was right – whether I liked it or not.

Because, reality – not hope – is going to take me to the next level.


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