The Universe gives us what we need.

I believe this with every fiber within me.
And, when I forget, I remind myself…

Or, the Universe will give me the kick in the pants I need to remember.

Look, don’t get your feathers all ruffled because you’re a person of faith and would prefer that I refer to the Universe as God…or some other formal, faith-based name.

You know what I mean.

And, if you’re too bothered to read on, then by all means, please stop.

Either come back when your mind is free of the distraction, or don’t come back.

I am not worried about wasting time or stressing out about how I address the Higher Power.

For those of us who choose a faith-based lifestyle, we will address the Lover of Our Soul as we will.

Now, as I was saying…

The Universe gives us what we need.

And, sometimes, what we need is time with a friend over coffee.

At least, as it turns out, that’s what I needed.

My realtor-turned-friend, in from the other side of the country, made sure to carve out some time for me while he was back visiting his old stomping grounds. We met at Bean Traders…early, but not too early Friday morning.

Read about my previous experience at this hip coffee shop in Durham, NC.

“Gah…it’s been two and a half years since you moved?”

I could barely believe so much time had passed.
But I suppose that’s what Time is good at…

We had a lot of catching up to do.

I think a lot of us would agree that Facebook offers us an opportunity to stay more connected to more people than we might without the social media platform, but even still, it only offers us a superficial level of connection. There’s nothing like 2 full hours of one-on-one storytelling time. Lots of sharing, lots of truth – lots of life.

I was trying to unpack a fresh-out-of-the-oven concept…so fresh, in fact, I didn’t yet have the words to explain it well.

“Oh, sure,” he says. “You’re trying to step back from being the one to create all the opportunities.”

“Yes! Exactly,” I responded. “I want to be available. But I don’t want to keep being the one to…manufacture the moments. How balanced can something be if you feel like you’re always the one setting it up?”


It’s amazing how the right words can unlock truths that have been waiting – just hanging around, knocking about in your head – for definition.

I felt wide-eyed.

“How can I appropriately gauge interest if there never seems to be an effort to initiate from the other party?” I offered softly.

I could feel it. I looked sad. And I appreciated him for letting me…look it, feel it, be it.

Isn’t it such a gift to have friends that will let you process your emotions?

They give you time and space to let you feel. And they may jump in to cheer you up – but never too soon, because they honor how the hard emotions help shape you; how they can help you grow.

I am a natural initiator.

It gets me into all kinds of trouble.

And I am trying to learn – desperately trying to learn – how to best leverage this gift in a way that it doesn’t sink me in too deep without there being some kind of payback.

And this learning…well, it’s on all levels —

Parenting. Business. Love. Personal Development. Property Management.

I am a problem solver. I am a goal setter.
I am a Monday-morning-better-get-in-line-because-I-am-awake kind of woman.
I naturally get things started. It’s second nature, like breathing.

I can make a plan, strategize the best steps to success, meticulously implement each step while evaluating the plan’s evolution and realign when needed to make sure that success stays within sight.

If I don’t know all the right or best steps, I can gather the people that do and ask them questions, breathe-in their experience…and keep on truckin’ —

But I don’t always judge correctly the cost to me, to my internal reserves; or, worse, I’ve recognized the cost, but belittled it believing in the “cause,” and that if someone cared enough to move through the right steps, it would all be worth it in the end.

See these scars?

I have a few words I could say about what’s been “worth it” as adulthood taught me a thing or two.

So, availability vs. creating opportunities.

Whew. This is gonna be a tough one for me. It’s going to require me to step back in certain areas of my life.

Although the upside is that as I step back from some areas, I can move forward in others.

There are always options for forward movement.

The question is — will I finally start placing precedence on the options that will offer the best return on investment for my life vs. continuing to dabble in areas where the outcome is unclear?

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