Author: Jen Busfield

Can You Help Me Remember

I know that is has been a while and that you’ve moved on, but I need your help. You told me once that I had the ability to shrink a man’s balls to the size of raisins, to suck out every bit if his testosterone, to hand his manhood back to him sliced and served on a silver platter; and still, at the end of it, make him love me anyway. But in the process, the boundaries were defined and we could move on smoothly, easily as friends. Bless you, you would know better than many others how that goes down- I was in my prime then. But now, I am out of practice and somehow back on the field. I need to remember the balance I struck, so that I can pull off plays like that once again. I have the feeling I am going to really need that skill moving...

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Don’t Look At Me

Don’t look at me like that. You don’t have to understand. I am not asking you to- I am not asking you to like me even- I fear it. Getting close to you will make me weak. You will sucker me in. Encourage me to depend on you; I will learn to depend on you; and then I will want to depend on you. And in the climax of need, when I am dependent, you will fail me. And I will be crushed. So, let’s just not go there, if you don’t mind. Appreciate the thorns that keep us apart- see down the road? The thorns serve good purpose to protect from future...

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There’s No One Else

You’ve got to understand- No matter what happens, Or how things proceed- No one else will care, Or is suppose to- As much as you and I do. We are together in this forever. Period. So, we might as well get on the ball, And play nicely with each other. We know the typical rules, But we can make up our own as we go- And, please, let’s go! Let’s focus on the good parts, And leave behind the dead weight. Let it lay and rot. Sure, I know that healing will be slow, And there’s no regeneration. But, moving forward is better Than waiting in one spot; Or worse regressing...

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The Look

You are welcome to look at me like that anytime- because you and I, on that level, are made of the same grit. I don’t know when we crossed that threshold, but cross it we did; and thank the heavens- because that look I see coming out of your eyes towards me…it melts all my convictions and warms my core. The heat runs through my limbs and I am ready to be all yours. So, you are welcome to look. Because when you do, I don’t give a damn about “suppose to” or “shouldn’t...

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Look, This Is How It Is

Look, I am really happy for you- really, I am. But it just doesn’t mean to me what it means to you. Before, it would have. I would have been genuinely excited and ignorantly happy in that hopeless romantic kind-of-way; but that isn’t who I am anymore. I’ve grown cynical, untrusting. So, I am really happy for your happy moment; and I think that I can even be genuinely, hopelessly-romantic-happy for YOU; but I understand that- for me- that kind of giddiness is gone. And even to the point of hearing your happy news, I have to remind myself to be happy for you; instead of my natural response of “please, dear god, think through what you are doing.” So, just understand, I am giving you all I can. Asking for anymore would just be plain impolite. It isn’t nice to rub someone else’s nose in...

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About Me: Jen Busfield

Passionate Mom (son with Autism). Author. Traveler. Blogger. Adventurer. Lover. Foodie. Geek. Picture taker. Silly dancer. Music lover. Latina.

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