We both really struggled to get through the day.

Don’t get me wrong. The little man was a trooper today. He packed, moved and unpacked like a champ. In fact, during our bedtime routine tonight, I grabbed his little face and looked straight into his eyeballies and said: I am really proud of you. You were a fantastic helper today. You are awesome. And I have him a big fat kiss.

(This is the moment when I confess one of my biggest fears: that my son will grow up with an incurable apathy towards life that he inherits from his father.)

I was really surprised that he handled it as well as he did. Our little man (who will be 7 in May) has a diagnosis of moderate autism. And although he’s high functioning, it doesn’t seem that we always function smoothly through the actions that are required to live a seamless-flow-of-life.

It was towards the afternoon when I noticed it settling in – the nerves. I had them too. It was just the unknown of what tonight would bring…our first night back at the house together. The nerves got the better of him — probably because he didn’t take a rest time (i.e. nap [but we don’t say that word around here much]); and he was the biggest grump. Pretty much unbearable. I had to remember who was the adult several times so that I could focus on rising above the whine and obstinance.

I think that we’ll both need a couple of days in this new environment for our emotions to have a chance to settle down. I just wish sometimes, that I could release it like he does. I wonder if throwing a tantrum would make me feel any better?